Couple walking

In the first in a series focusing on sexuality and Parkinson’s nurse consultant Orna Moore and sex therapist Gila Bronner, explain the importance of intimacy – and offer some practical strategies to promote it in a relationship where one partner has the condition


Couples who are coping with a chronic illness, such as Parkinson’s disease, have abundant needs and concerns. They face challenges and have to adapt to the changes imposed by their illness. The stress of dealing with the condition can significantly increase the burden on partners. One area that frequently goes unnoticed and un-discussed is the need to support intimacy between such couples. A lack of couple intimacy can have a devastating impact on self-esteem, relationships and the ability to cope with the disease.

We believe that it’s important for couples to spend quality time both together and apart. We have developed a practical, four-step model to help improve intimacy.

1. Couple time
Couples need to spend quality time together doing things that both parties enjoy, be that going to a restaurant, seeing a film, walking, watching TV on the sofa at home or visiting friends or family.

2. Personal time
Time to oneself is also important in a relationship – reading a book, taking a bath, exercising, meeting with friends, or taking a course of some kind. Couples who can allow themselves short-term separations may improve their intimacy and the need to be together.

3. Intimate time
This is the time when you feel close emotionally and physically. Couples might share thoughts and feelings with the expectation that their partner listens in an empathic and understanding way. Intimate time might include physical closeness such as showering together or giving a relaxing massage, but “intimate time” should exist as an independent entity, without the pressure to move on to something more erotic.

4. Sexual (erotic) times
As you’d expect, time devoted to getting sexually aroused and trying to reach orgasm. It might include intercourse, non-penetrative outercourse or other erotic activities, such as oral or manual stimulation or mutual masturbation, which can be achieved regardless of erectile function or vaginal lubrication.

Couples need these four elements of time, even if some time passes without realising all four of them. It is important to invest in intimacy in a relationship. Couples who find it difficult to negotiate, communicate or compromise about sex and intimacy may benefit from help from an expert in couple therapy, psychology or sex therapy.